Ryan was a wonderful man in every way–kind, generous, thoughtful, warm, considerate, and caring through all of his personal and professional relationships and interactions. I had the great honor of being his thesis advisor when he did his joint law degree at UC-Hastings in SF and his Master of City and Regional Planning degree at UC-Berkeley. I then got my own law degree in my mid-forties and found myself seeking Ryan's mentorship as I began to practice law on the side while teaching at the University of San Diego School of Law. Ryan's good humor, brilliance, and charm helped us transition from me being his mentor to him being my mentor. We became good friends through that shift, and I am grateful that I got to see him recently at UCSD La Jolla. He maintained his spirit of optimism and hope even in that dark moment, his mother and Julia generously sharing the room with me. The world is definitely a sadder and poorer place without Ryan.

I knew Ryan from 1995-1997, when he rented my older brother’s room from my mom and lived with me during my junior and senior year of high school. Ryan had just graduated from Cal Poly, where he studied history and had been in many classes with my brother, Stephen Tootle. When Steve learned Ryan was moving to Visalia to take an internship at Self-Help Enterprises (a nonprofit addressing the need for affordable and safe housing), located in his home town of Visalia, Steve told Ryan he should just rent a room from my mom. I was there when Mom first heard the idea, and she simply asked for Steve’s assessment: would Ryan be safe to live in the house alongside me, a 15-17 year old girl? When my brother unhesitatingly said, “yes!” she knew Ryan’s character must be stellar. Steve then explained, “Ryan is Mr. Dudley Do Right.” We all laughed. But he was right; from the moment we first met him, we felt safe and happy. Ryan felt like a brother to me the whole time, and though I doubt many women could say they discovered the Indigo Girls through a male friend, I have the distinct pleasure to say this, because it was Ryan who first played the album “Nomads, Indians, and Saints” for me— life changing! Music makes you feel seen, and the Indigo Girls discography really supported the next few years for me. Ryan was rarely home because of work and soccer, but when he was there he felt peaceful to be near. My senior year, I had an open-ended assignment that allowed me complete freedom of choice for what I wanted to do in order to display my growth in a “senior project.” I was excited to begin my undergraduate education in just a few months and also a bit scared, wondering if I was ready for “college level writing.” So I decided to challenge myself with the arbitrary but personally significant goal of writing a 20 page paper, and the topic I chose to write on was comparative religion. I cannot tell you how many hours that paper took me, both doing the reading to research and doing the writing and refining. Ryan let me use his desktop Apple computer to type it out and save it, and his printer when it was time to print it. At this time, all of those functions made me really feel official and scholarly. It did so much to help me feel confident as I entered my next phase of studies. He let me work in his room while he was gone, and I’ll never forget those sacred hours spent in his tidy room, Indigo Girls and Tracy Chapman songs on repeat, contemplating the commonalities of the wisdom traditions. Ryan’s wisdom and common sense, his simple respect, encouragement, and kindness really strengthened me. When a light like Ryan transitions from this life, the meaning and significance of his life is felt in the hearts of each one of those whom he touched, and we each naturally compelled to carry his virtues forward from here. I pray for the comfort of Ryan’s family and all those who feel his loss. May you live as he lived and know his kind of joy and contentment within your own heart. With love, ❤️ and bowing in respect and gratitude for who Ryan was, 🕯️ Ruthie

Ryan is the reason I joined the board of Big Brothers Big Sisters seven years ago. I was a Big Sister and loved hands‑on volunteering but had no plans to join a board, especially with two small kids at home and a part‑time work schedule. Then Ryan reached out. He showed up at my office with TD Rolf and “the other Ryan,” and the three of them were so warm, funny, and deeply committed to the mission that I said yes almost immediately. Ryan later invited me onto the Board Development Committee, and when he became board chair, he asked me to serve as his vice chair. He had a gift for seeing potential in people before they saw it in themselves, and he did that for me in such meaningful ways. What I’ll remember most, though, is how he spoke about his wife, Julia with so much reverence, humor, and devotion. He used to secretly read the books on her nightstand so he could stay one step ahead, and then he’d recommend the best ones to me. I’ve passed those books on to so many people who care deeply about their relationships. That was Ryan: endlessly committed to connection, community, and the people he loved. There are no words for how much I will miss him. And I’m just one of hundreds (probably thousands) whose lives he touched. What an extraordinary life.

I didn’t have the privilege of knowing Ryan for very long, but I vividly remember his warm smile and how welcoming he was to me as a new board member. His kindness left a lasting impression, and his legacy will continue to inspire me. Ryan will be greatly missed but never forgotten.

Hi, Ryan. Thank you for being the consistent, positive presence that you were in so many people's lives. Your leadership on the BBBS Board (in spite of Bill Brennan's constant teasing 😉 ) is an inspiration to me. I will always remember the grace with which you carried yourself and the impact that calming presence had on us all. We will continue to carry your light as we progress BBBS's mission. Thank you for being you, Tim C.

Ryan was more than a Big Brother to my son Paris. During a season when I was raising my children alone, he stepped in with mentorship, consistency, and genuine care that helped my son grow and believe in himself. Ryan and his wife Julie became like family to us, showing up with love, encouragement, and unwavering support. He also encouraged me as a mother, writing a character letter that supported my journey to graduate school and reminding me to dream bigger for myself and my children. His love in action, his belief in our family, and the light he and Julie shared will never be forgotten. We are forever grateful for the gift of Ryan and the legacy he leaves behind.

Ryan helped me discover my true identity in life. He not only taught me to believe in myself, but in others as well. He never wanted us to become complacent in life and I’m so thankful that I was able to share with him that I had decided to further my education. And that I was able to have him sign my school hat, so that he could be there with me when I walk. I’m sorry it took so long for me to turn it all around, but he kept on holding on and believed that one day I would. And by the grace of God I did. I probably lost about a thousand eyelashes today watching that YouTube video over and over. But it was worth every tear to remember those hugs and my brother for who he was and still is in my life. I too will keep on holding on to him and to every moment that I ever got to spend with him.

Ryan has been the best big brother i could ever ask for i was his last little brother he took in but never let me feel more or less loved he will be extremely miss and I will make sure we will keep his compassion and love alive Love You Big Bro always

Ryan was a pillar of our community, and his absence leaves a void that is difficult to put into words. However, as we grieve, we also want to celebrate the incredible light he brought into our lives. To honor his enduring impact, we launched this dedicated memorial webpage to celebrate "The Ripple of Ryan." This space serves as a living tribute to his story. Please share your notes of remembrance here.